Captain in a Bad Mood

“You’re always doing paperwork” I said to the captain one day. The young girl looked up at me.

“And you’re always hazing Roderick, aiming your revolver at Ezra, shoving Marcus into the wall, -“

“You make it sound like they don’t fight back,” I laughed, “What does that have to do with your paperwork though?” I asked her with a shrug, leaning against the wall. She smiled slightly and sighed.

“I thought we were sharing,” She said warmly. Charlotte Bennett’s handwriting is elegant and flows like rain into a gutter. No one could ever guess by her paperwork that she’s a pirate save for the content and her combination of print and cursive that is statistically that of a serial killer’s. “Hey, do you remember how many of the Wrench’s men we threw overboard after that huge fight? Remember? When they were trying to loot the same tea ship that we had already caught and then I was in a really bad mood so I shot the merchant and his assistant and then we fought the Sophie Marie?” I tried to count with my fingers and then gave up.

“I don’t know,” I told her. “I remember three faces cause they were so goddamn ugly and then I remember the one that threatened to shoot you so you flipped him and shot him in the head…” I thought for a moment. “Yeah, I don’t know. And then Captain Wrench was so drunk that he could barely draw his gun so they all just retreated and we threw the hostages overboard and then left some in the brig but then-“

“Forget it,” she interrupted and went back to her paperwork. I shook my head.

“What kind of paperwork could a sky pirate possibly have? You’re the captain of a fucking pirate ship. It’s not like you-“

“OH MY GOD! SHUT UP!” She yelled, “Who do you think sends out the paperwork for all of those fucking fake IDs we need to use for every job! How on earth do you think I do business? Telepathically? Our pressganged boy will be here tomorrow to deliver this shit.” I sat down and stifled a laugh.

“sorry,” I giggled, “Didn’t know I was getting in the way of your pirate paperwork,”

She smiled sarcastically.

“You know the saying “don’t shoot the messenger?” You know it didn’t originate from nowhere, right?” She said putting her pen back to the paper. I nodded silently. “Well that boy,” she continued, “That I send on errands with his airboat was the outcome of pressganging. A pretty similar situation to yours in fact. Not always the same boy though, is it?” I pondered on what she was saying for a moment before understanding one hundred percent and looking up at her. Her evil chuckle sent shivers up my spine. “Could have been you.” I grinned.

“It sometimes is. I just make sure they don’t get a chance to shoot the messenger.” I giggled.

“Go bother someone else. I’m behind on this and ahead in distractions.”

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