Dario

[Arabella Porter]

“She smiles when she lies; even if it’s not funny.” David said before taking a long, bubbling drag of the shisha. I shrugged as he let out a breath of lemon mint smoke that disappeared in a cloud.

“That’s not true” Marlow waved.

“ain’t it though?” David replied.

“Alright, Ara. Lie to me.” Marlow  sat up straight and so did I from the cushiony pile of pillows I was leaning on as we smoked shisha in the middle of the main residential area (if you will).  “Lie to me,” he repeated.

“You’re attractive.” I said with a straight face. A hint of smoky snickers seeped subtly out from David, Marcus, Dominique, and Kolfifa. Marlow scoffed.

“Fuck off.” He flipped me his middle finger to which I replied with a kissing motion of the lips. Then it happened. No one had seen it coming and I can’t say that we handled the next few moments very well. Everyone jumped, even David who was the most level headed man on board.

A huge symphony of bumping sounds rushed in a parade down the steps. Everyone turned their head and I almost knocked the coal off the pipe. A blob of blue blanket molded around on the floor as we all exchanged glances, wondering about the muffled moans coming from underneath it. I stood up, carefully ad silently.

“Everyone, stay where you are; I’ll check it out.” I ordered, a click coming from my loaded pistol that Wilhelm had gotten me for Christmas. I had wanted to test her out and as horrible as this sounds, I was hoping there would be something to shoot underneath the moaning blue blanket. I could hear my crewmates standing up behind me as I inched towards it when a clamor came shouting down the stairs.

All in that instant I was so wired that my finger tensed and a gunshot rang out through the room, making everyone shout and Jon, having innocently come down the stairs at the wrong time, fell to the floor.

“Fucking hell!” He yelled.

“Ara what the fuck?”

“bloody hell Ara.”

“you stupid git.”

“It was impulse!”

“Someone best lock you the fuck up then!”

“You wanted to shoot the fucking gun.”

“Say fuck again.”

“Fuck!”

“Que pasa?” The blue blanket yelled as a skinny, pale, blue haired man revealed himself from underneath. I screamed and that made Marlow scream which made David yell till Kolfifa started yelling and the room was absolute balagan (Hebrew term for madness) when Bentley came down the stairs.

“Did our new mate find the residential area?” Ben smiled and then looked down at Jon, bleeding on the ground. “You’re looking well today.” He grinned and then turned his attention to the blanket man (great superhero name)“Dario, have you met your new crewmates?”

“Have you noticed that Arabella shot me in my arm?” Jon shouted.

“No, no I have not.” Dario looked around and then let the blue blanket slide off of him to reveal a naked body.

“Everyone, this is Dario from Spain.” Ben jumped down the stairs and stood next to the naked Spaniard.

“What the bloody hell is going on?” Marlow asked, putting his face in his palm. Kolfifa whistled to me.

“Ani lo mevin ma koreh.” I don’t understand what’s happening. He mouthed to me. I squinted first but then understood.

“yeshlanu-“

“Marlow, the captain says to find him a decent hammock and some clothes.” Ben swung his arms back and forth like a little boy and jumped upstairs.

“Wait! Why me?” Marlow called up but there was no reply. We all looked to him as he  who rolled his eyes. “Alright, come on.” He said, walking to his hammock and pulling out a pair of trousers. The naked Dario (another great superhero name) followed him, smiling.  

“You’re a bunch of assholes but I love this crew.” He nodded and slipped the trousers on one leg at a time.

“Thanks?” I said and looked at Marlow who gave me a confused look. I shook my head and looked to Kolfifa who was still confused. “Where are you from?” I asked Dario.

“Spain,” said he, “Or in this country, “Tsfarad”” He laughed. “Is that shisha?”

“ken” yes said Kolfifa sitting down again and taking a long drag, his strong feet pressing together and his lanky legs jutting out.

“Oh, atah Israeli” Oh, you’re Israeli. He said to Kolfifa who nodded. I stood watching this guy interact with everyone and sit down with us. We passed him the hose and, I swear, this kid does nothing but rings. “I’m here with my ex-girlfriend Michelle. She’s more of a lady but still very, what’s the word in English….adventurous?” he asked, unsure. We all nodded with gaping eyes. “Anyways, she’s on the upper deck chatting with your captain, still angry at me, and-“

             “Another woman on the ship, just what we need.” Marlow shook his head.   

            “What’s that supposed to mean?” I hissed harshly.

            “J’ai le compris!” Dominique glared which made Marlow inch away a bit.

           “Well I hope you’ll get used to it. She’s more like of a man these days anyways.”

“Ugh, I thought we’d actually get a girl this time.” Marcus sighed.

“I’m a girl.” I complained.

“Moi aussi.” Said Dominique and everyone laughed which, for some reason, made me feel a good.

“Anyways,” Dario started again, “I’m not sure what job I have but as far as I know about pirates, you all split the loot.” He smiled a toothy smile and took another drag, popping out perfectly shaped rings.

“You take what you took and that’s that. We don’t split anything. We loot and you get what you, yourself, got. Bob’s your uncle.” I made a slicing motion with my hands.

“Bob’s my…what?”

“It means, “plain in simple”, “piece of cake”.” Marlow told him. “English stuff. Chanter, Dominque, and Roderick got used to it. You will too.”

“Bob’s your uncle,” Dario repeated. “Plain and simple. Hey," He said, "where's the man you shot?" We all looked to where Jon had been bleeding on the floor. It was now just a blood splotch.

"He probably just carried himself upstairs." said David, nonchalantly.