while i'm gone

[Arabella Porter]

“What are the odds of you calling chanter, sugartits for the rest of the day.” Ezra asked with a smug grin on his smug face. We sat in the galley, my tarot deck shuffling in my hand. I pulled a card. “come on then, Ara, what’s it say?”

“It says you’re a cheeky little cunt.” I sighed with a sweet smile and stared at the card, “it also says I’m going to push you off the starboard side.” A giggle escaped through the back of my mouth as I put put the card back in the deck. Ezra scoffed.

“That wasn’t a real reading.” He accused. “You’re just sexually frustrated being away from that scientist for too long.” I rolled my eyes and looked to the apple crate in the corner where Jabber was unsuccessfully climbing up a mountain of shiny green apples. They all tumbled across the floor and Jabber sat, victoriously smiling as if her were going to take out a flag and claim his edible seat for Australia.

  “I’ll be gone for eight months. I may be jealous hearing about it when I get back but I hope there’s some gal back in London that he’s interested in shagging. He should have fun while I'm gone. ” I looked down at the table and then realized what I just said. I then looked up to Ezra who stared back, his mouth open, holding back a laugh of disbelief. I took a green apple from the floor and chucked it at him hard. “I’m not talking about this shit with you, you minger.” I said as the apple hit him hard in the chest.

“awfully nice of you to keep an open mind.”

“fuck off.”

“sexually”

“shut up,”

“frusterated!”

I laughed and punched him in the shoulder as I stood and picked up an apple that was next to him. I took a crunching bite and chewed in a very unladylike fashion.

“Do you mean that though?” Ezra asked, I shrugged.

“I feel kind of bad.” I said, “I miss Tim…I miss everyone.” I rested my head on the table and then looked back at Ezra. The look he gave me was lack-of-understanding mixed with banter and a bit of  your-a-pussy. I smiled. “say it.” I mumbled.

“Do you need us to call your parents, sweetheart?” He asked, laughing at me, “missing the doorknockers and schizos?”

“why would I miss your mum and dad?” I giggled. He laughed back in return as Chanter walked into the galley.  I gave ezra a mischievous smile and cleared my throat. “Morning, sugar tits!” I said to chanter.

 “It’s the afternoon,” He pointed out.

“oh, right, thank you sugar tits,” I said with a confused squinting smile in my eyes when he didn’t respond to his new pet name.

“No problem,” He said, grabbing an apple and patting Jabber on the head. “Ara, you want a crate of arabian coffee for the Rejected Gear?” he asked.

“oh! Yes! Thank you, sugartits!” I interjected, Ezra’s mouth pressed together as to hold back a tsunami of laughter. He wanted to crack up and so did I but I kept it cool.

“no problem.” Chanter said.

“can you pass me an apple, sugartits?” I asked chanter. He picked one up and threw it to me. I caught it. “thank you, sugar tits.” I said with a grin.

“no problem, pumpkin ass” He responded, not missing a beat as he walked out of the galley.

“Hey!” I called after him, Ezra finally laughing like a maniac.