the Restless Bitches in Heels

[Arabella Porter]

        We had to do some business with another crew known as the restless bitches. They’re a violent bunch of women but our captain is never unsatisfied when trading with them.  What I just realized last week was that almost all of them were wearing heels. I have a question for the restless bitches,

                                                       WHY?

        I understand that maybe you’re very fashion forward, but why on earth would you wear heels during work? Have you never had to run before? Does time slow down for you so that that you can slowly strut your way over to your post? One of them even had TOELESS heels on. As if nothing heavy could ever fall on an airship and crush her foot. I always try to look my best but I’m not going to sacrifice a foot for it.  Get some nice pairs of long lasting, weather durable boots, ladies. One day we’ll be blowing you out of the sky and when that happens, I don’t want you to die just because you were too slow, sexily strutting over to your life line, to actually tighten it. That’s just pathetic.