“You’re always doing paperwork” I said to the captain one day. The young girl looked up at me.

“And you’re always hazing Roderick, aiming your revolver at Ezra, shoving Marcus into the wall, -“

               “You make it sound like they don’t fight back,” I laughed, “What does that have to do with your paperwork though?” I asked her with a shrug, leaning against the wall. She smiled slightly and sighed.

              “I thought we were sharing,” She said warmly.…

   A while after my first few weeks at the Rejected Gear, I went to catch up with Leander’s younger brother, Aurelian.  I had told him I was a pirate a long time ago but I don’t think it ever really set in until this conversation.

“So you weren’t kidding. You’re seriously a pirate, Ara? You don’t work; you just steal other people’s hard work?” He asked me over a sip of ale. I expected his reaction to be a little less negatively judgmental but I had to remember that he wasn’t a little…

  I shifted my posture slightly in my seat as I felt the dark, almond shaped eyes of Virote’s first mate, MinhTu, staring me down from across the doorway. I kept my unsteady gaze attentive to the wooden floor planks of Captain Bennett’s study. The air in the room was thick with the awkward avoidance of eye contact and unsteady heartbeats of all those waiting for the captain to sign the paper in front of her.

“So these are your terms?”  I perked up when she spoke. Virote gave one slow…

     The only time I went in to White Chapel during my pressgang was once when the Captain ad crew wasn’t there to stop me and I had to. Of course, I hadn’t any time to say hello to anyone which was my intention for going there but I guess that’s what you get for dragging a copper behind you.

      That was my first interaction with Thomas Dunning. He had been at the parliament building to discuss certain legal matters about the opium sky trades between London and China the day that I…

I used to hate taking hostages. It felt so cruel and in the very early days, I thought I could relate to them at the time, being forced into service and all. I had no idea how different it was until I started being behind bars myself on occasion.

     “Hostages are profit,” The captain used to say and when they were from air patrol, it was always, “This is what they signed up for,” and then the crew would laugh.

 After a few years, I found keeping captives very enjoyable.…

       There’s no better feeling than when you see a good ship, take it by force, and then come to find a whole cargo deck of wine from Bourgogne and champagne from Champagne. Well, there are better feelings but at the time, there was no better word for fun and profit. Dominique translated for the Captain and I sat by to make sure that she wasn’t twisting Captain’s words (it’s happened before apparently. I’ve never witnessed it though.) Either way, we made a night out of it.  The only one,…

We rule the skies

The skulls and crossbones of the air

The twinkle of fear in your eyes

We, authority’s demise

Those who dare

We rule the skies

Why should we apologize?

We’re sorry we don’t care

We rule the…

Leggo Piece, oh Leggo piece

How your sharp, plastic edges dig into my flesh

worse than being burned…

“What the bloody hell is going on in here?” I yelled, storming into the galley where a giant cloud of pirates stood cheering. I lifted my gun and everyone ducked at the sound of the gunfire. “Everyone!” I shouted, “Move!” there was a dense silence as they obeyed the order like robots and a path was cleared for me to enter into the middle of the cloud where there was a small clearing. At the middle, Ezra was straddling Daniel with a raised fist as Daniel laid there, puffy red and bleeding.…

     After a while, when you’ve been staying alive on a pirate airship and you are the second most authorized member on board, you tend to get a little cocky. It happens to most piratic leaders whether they display their cockiness or not. It’s a phase that slams the door when it leaves but at least it goes away…usually. I mean, clearly, Captain Sarling never snapped out of it but it’s whatever. I went through this phase after a year of staying alive and in the air, battle after battle. It…

         Captain Edward Von Arkham once walked in with this parrot on his shoulder and a giant frown on his face. The World’s End was congested with laughter and its usual surrealism as he sat down at the bar and requested that I surprise him. He already knew what I do for surprises though, a shot of hell: a shot of vodka with a generous amount of tobasco sauce. As I slid the shot glass onto the bar in front of him, everyone began to ask him about the parrot.

      “Her name is…

         Eucalyptus leaves are awesome. Dude, seriously though. I wonder, how did koalas even get teeth? What ARE teeth? If we didn’t have teeth, what would we eat? But yeah, I mean, I dig apples, bananas, pears, fairies, stuff, but I love my eucalyptus. They just make me feel better about the universe, you know? The universe is weird…when do we eat? I mean I’m looking at the stars at night,  and I think, “Why are some ants bigger than other ants? I mean, some koalas are bigger than other…

Dear Captain Charlotte Bennet,

                I am rather excited to meet with you for negotiations. I apologize deeply for my advisor’s behavior and am very eager to meet your quartermaster, Mercurian Maxwell.  However, it appears that we will be rather late for our appointment. The coordinates are farther away than we suspected at this time of year due to a last minute purchase from Captain Sarling of the P.A.S Cameroon.  I’m afraid that I will no longer be doing business with him…

        I went to Leander’s grave today. Being the only grave in the yard with an actual gravestone, it’s not hard to find at all.  It’s a weird stone. Leander and Aurelian don’t have a last name so it’s just his first name engraved on it with his birthday and death day. Underneath the dates, it says beloved brother and friend. I would have engraved something different though.

                                              …

            I’ve been collecting eye patches since my second week aboard the Widow. The Monday of my second week on board, we ran into some trouble in which a bullet whizzed only a hair away from my head, right next to my left ear. Instead of thinking about my ear, I immediately thought of something. I wondered if I would lose my eye being a pirate like in all of the stories. The stereotype is definitely true by the way. I’ve seen so many one eyed pirates, that if you asked me how many, I…

      When we were thirteen and merely friends, Leander and I were sitting on the roof of the Ten Bells and looking down on the violent street when I asked, 

      “So what’s the deal with your parents?”  I can still remember how Leander, with a mischievous look in his eyes let a slow smile lift the corners of his mouth.

       “I ate them alive,” He told me.

       “Leander, I’m serious,” I responded in a laugh, “You never mention them. All I know is that they’re never…

                Besides Leander, my best friend in White Chapel was a woman who went by the name of Mary Jane Kelly (Although she liked to go by Marie Jeanette). She had a husband named John Porter who many thought was related to me but that’s not the case. Although Mary’s knot was tied, she still had the most common profession in the area; prostitution. She was known for three things; her absolutely beautiful face and body, her sweet personality, and her “circle technique” blow jobs also…

        We had to do some business with another crew known as the restless bitches. They’re a violent bunch of women but our captain is never unsatisfied when trading with them.  What I just realized last week was that almost all of them were wearing heels. I have a question for the restless bitches,

                                                       WHY?

        I understand that maybe you’re very fashion forward, but why on earth would you wear heels during work? Have you…

            From my mother, inherited an inability to take any crap. That’s a fact. My mother didn’t put up with tom foolery in her classroom or out of her class room.  I like to think that that’s why my father married her. I will never forget the day we arrived in London. My mother and I were crossing the street and a carriage came bumping in, almost running over both of us. As the carriage came to an abrupt stop, the driver began yelling at her to move her ass.  But Mrs. Porter does not…

            Not many people feel the need to question their friendships. I’ve never had to anyway. But when you think about it, besides my captain, I see Dominique as my best friend on board. The two of us seem to love starting trouble, manipulating the other half of the species, and of course, kicking the living crap out of the amateur bounty hunters with no manners.  We share inside jokes and partner up for missions. Sometimes when she’s cooking, I’ll sit in the galley and we’ll have…